Archive for the ‘Socialization’ Category

Assalamou alaikom wa rahmatullah Peace and Mercy to the rightly guided, a quick link to post and inshAllah i will be back to update ūüôā Thank you for your patience, we have been really busy since Dd age 12 now, decided to “quit school” She wanted to homeschool and All praise is due to Allah alone. She said they weren’t mean to her or anything (she is the only hijaabi at her school though there are many Muslim children there al hamdulilah) but that she didn’t like how they behaved and they were cruel to each other. I used to say to her I knew she wasn’t ready for middle school because the children become very cruel then and everything is about clothes, popularity and whether you have a boyfriend. There is also a lot of bullying and now, drugs. So I am glad she came to this decision. Georgia Cyber Academy, the school her brother is in is full and not taking students till next year so for now we will begin once again with all the books I own and loosely following the Well Trained Mind, inshAllah. I also ordered her k12 Math and Latin and we should get it on Tuesday. We are so excited and she said when UPS comes SHE will get the package and SHE will unpack it and store it in her room, NOT me! Getting mail and packages at our house is like Christmas. Lol, so to speak. AstagfurAllah :p


***UPDATE*** Sadly, multiply blogging has been closed, only the seller’s portion available for Asia remains. Multiply published the best blogs I have ever seen from sisters and brother with vastly beneficial knowledge and information I had not seen before. I will look in my files I usually save beneficial articles from online but until then, I am pretty sure this was the advice and lecture posted, so here is the updated link: http://salaf-us-saalih.com/2012/03/13/beware-of-your-childrens-friends-umar-quinn-audioenglish/

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This is just a quick update that a favorite writer of mine Lisa Russell, has moved her site. Apparently, twice :p

You will recall her from the article I so blatantly¬†stole (er…borrowed?) about the dreaded home school, unschooling¬†topic…drum roll please….”Socialized” To be more accurate, the post was titled, “EVERYONE MUST READ THIS” caps¬†mine, and went on to HER title, “No thank you we don’t believe in Socialization” which to be honest, i¬†got off the¬†San Antonio homeschool¬†website that i have located somewhere.¬†One of the funniest things Lisa ever said was something like, “as if only a dot stood between me and organized…ugg¬†im getting that wrong. Lisa, please correct me if you will…¬† ūüėĬ† ¬†i’ve¬†had three hours of sleep and carschooled all day so please oblige meee…lol

*that reminds me, GOSH I WISH I”D been able to attend the unschooling¬†conference, ugg that burned me!* I wanted to have a henna booth for the parents and facepaint¬†the kids! and meet cool people from all over the US like me…i meant ppl like me, not cool (embarrassed)

ANYWAY, she was here: http://mrshannigan.wordpress.com/¬†¬† then she went here: http://www.lisarussell.org/blog and¬† http://lisarussell.org /¬†¬† finally (though not promised ūüôā and the road is paved and long, ¬†excuse the pun} she arrived …yaayyy here : http://www.gypsymom.com/¬† Join her for her family’s new voyage unschooling, writing, learning all the time (our motto) having fun, being together and loving…in a small RV…driving cross country to the …unknown..whooooo. lol. Seriously. Go view it i¬†swear you won’t regret it. She is funky, fun, insightful, disorganized (like me) and …has the¬†most wonderful outlook, maa¬†shaa¬†Allah. I love her new post already about¬†El Paso, Texas. Awesome. Really, i¬†can’t think of another word besides that: awesome. Al hamdulilah. I have quoted her more times than I can count on my fb. (Shhh…it’s a secret)

If we all applied the Golden rule there would be no problems¬†on this earth¬†wa Allahu¬†Alim. Similar is¬†the Prophet Muhammad’s saying, “None of you is a believer until he wants for¬†his brother what he wants for himself” ¬†

The media and common (sorry) ignorant folk would have you believe Muslims are not tolerant that is NOT the case. I could go on and on but it’s midnight. Please a sis post daleel¬†(evidence) for what i¬†am saying I will inshAllah come back to this and edit the evidence.

Here it is again, to avoid confusion: www.gypsymom.com¬†I listed the sites above not just my wacky humor ( i been called crazy, zany, hippy and gypsy in my life)and hyper…

but as well because there is still much benefit in her old sites. However make sure you visit her newest site first, it rocks!

First five sisters to check out her site get a free massage¬†with aromatherapy¬†with my signature Enlightened Touch products! Don’t worry if you live in SA the offer is still valid, i¬†am traveling there soon inshAllah, massage table in tow!


Check out http://www.care2.com/¬† Largest site about living natural, newest discoveries in health and fitness, creating change, signing petitions and for animal lovers! And awesome site with the best weekly newsletter I’ve ever seen!

Also www.healthymuslim.com

Well, i guess thats it, shew! Did i spell that right? night! (Yes, sometimes i think in rhyme)

Wanna see my poetry? It’s under my notes.¬†Add me here: http://facebook.com/leslie.eisenman

And my fb business page is much more up to date with health and helpful links for the Muslimah¬†or anyone, maa¬†shaAllah¬†really…it also will have recent pictures of the massage room in my home. For those of you who don’t know, I am a licensed massage therapist. I also have a group one health and life insurance license in the state of Texas i¬†passed the test when I was 19 al hamdulilah. The youngest one in the history of West Telemarketing. Don’t even get me started on¬†that company!¬†Everyone in San Antonio knows that! http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Heaven-and-Earth-Bodywork/173365312449?sk=info¬†I went to ACC in Austin, Texas where I completed Medical Assisting.¬†¬†Two¬†years later my dream was realized when I graduated St. Phillip’s college in San Antonio. I received my certificate in Massage Therapy and passed the state of Texas exam shortly thereafter. On the first¬†try.¬†With flying colors. Did i mention I passed on the first try? lol¬†¬†¬†I love shiatsu, aromatherapy¬†and am experienced in many other modalities, check out my website the freewebs one describes services and my mission for women of the world!

G’night¬†facebook! oops i¬†meant ..err¬† wordpressers?


Assalamou alaikom wa rahmatullah thanks so much for your kindness and visiting my site . JazakAllah khair.

*DOES  N*E*body know how to get wordpress to stop underlining homeschooling and unschooling? I like spelling it that way.

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Ok. I don’t normally do this or believe in using other people’s articles, but I HAD to repost this and the only reason besides it has the PERFECT title and from the author’s words it’s like she’s my twin, is because¬†it has been posted a few times, is easily found and I providing¬†the original link. uhh…did ya get that? it’s 4 o clock in the morning for me. :0¬† Lisa Russell is a writer and educator¬†and has her own¬†blog at ¬†http://lisarussell.org/blog/¬†¬† ¬†God willing I will be posting two more helpful posts shortly as well as further explanation and example of how we build and sustain Islamic knowledge with¬†the Classical Method, WTM, even K12, as well as through teaching Social Studies and Spelling. I am really excited how¬†DD has been coming along with our new curriculum and¬†how¬†easily I am connecting and supplementing it with a comprehensive base of¬†Islamic History, Seerah, Aqeedah, and Adaab. All praise is due to God. What we have been doing is truly Tarbiyyah¬†as well as one form of “unschooling” at it’s best.

posted May 5, 2009 6:16 PM by Michelle Kretzschmar SAHERO

¬†No Thank You, We Don’t Believe in Socialization

By Lisa Russel ©2000 Lisa Russell Used with Permission

¬†I can’t believe I am writing an article about socialization, the word makes my skin crawl. As homeschoolers, we are often accosted by people who assume that since we’re homeschooling, our kids won’t be “socialized.” The word has become such a catch phrase that it has entirely lost any meaning. The first time I heard the word, I was attending a Catholic day school as a first grader. Having been a “reader” for almost 2 years, I found the phonics and reading lessons to be incredibly boring. Luckily the girl behind me felt the same way, and when we were done with our silly little worksheets, we would chat back and forth. I’ve never known two 6 yr. olds who could maintain a quiet conversation, so naturally a ruler-carrying nun interrupted us with a few strong raps on our desk. We were both asked to stay in at recess, and sit quietly in our desks for the entire 25 minutes, because “We are not here to socialize, young ladies.” Those words were repeated over and over throughout my education, by just about every teacher I’ve ever had. If we’re not there to socialize, then why were we there? I learned to read at home. If I finished my work early (which I always did,) could I have gone home? If I were already familiar with the subject matter, would I have been excused from class that day? If schools weren’t made for socializing, then why on earth would anyone assume that homeschoolers¬†were missing out? As a society full of people whose childhood‚Äôs were spent waiting anxiously for recess time, and trying desperately to “socialize” with the kids in class; It is often difficult for people to have an image of a child whose social life is NOT based on school buddies. Do you ever remember sitting in class, and wanting desperately to speak to your friend? It’s kind of hard to concentrate on the lessons when you’re bouncing around trying not to talk. Have you ever had a teacher who rearranged the seats every now and then, to prevent talking, splitting up friends and “talking corners.” Were you ever caught passing notes in class? Now–flash forward to “real life.” Imagine the following scenes: Your employer is auditing the Inter-Office Email system and comes across a personal note between you and a coworker. You are required to stand at the podium in the next sales meeting to read it aloud to your coworkers. The Police knock on your door, and announce that because you and your neighbor have gotten so close, they’re separating you. You must move your home and your belongings to the other side of town, and you may only meet at public places on weekends. You’re sitting at a booth waiting for a coworker to arrive for a scheduled lunch date. Suddenly a member of upper management sits down across from you and demands your credit cards. When your friend arrives, you just order water and claim you’re not hungry, since he stole your lunch money. You’re applying for a job and in an unconventional hiring practice, you are made to line up with other applicants, and wait patiently while representatives from two competing companies take their pick from the lineup. You’re taking your parents out for an anniversary dinner. After you find a table, a waiter tells you that seniors have a separate dining room, lest they “corrupt” the younger members of society. You go to the grocery store only to find that since you are 32 years old you must shop at the store for 32 year olds. It’s 8 miles away and they don’t sell meat because the manager is a vegetarian, but your birthday is coming up and soon you’ll be able to shop at the store for 33 yr. olds. You’d like to learn about Aviation History. You go to the library and check out a book on the subject only to be given a list of “other subjects” that you must read about before you are permitted to check out the aviation book. You’re having a hard time finding what you need in the local department store. The saleslady explains that each item is arranged alphabetically in the store, so instead of having a section for shoes, you will find the men’s shoes in between the maternity clothes and the mirrors. Your Cable Company announces that anyone wishing to watch the Superbowl this year must log on a certain number of hours watching the Discovery Channel before they can be permitted to watch the game. You apply for a job only to be told that this job is for 29 year olds. Since you’re 32, you’ll have to stay with your level. In a group project, your boss decides to pair you up with the person you don’t “click” with. His hope is that you’ll get learn to get along with each other, regardless of how the project turns out. These absurd examples were created to point out how absolutely ridiculous the idea of “socializing” in schools is. Many people had a friend who they stayed friends with all through grammar school-WHY? Because their names were alphabetically similar, and they always ended up in line with each other. As an adult, have you ever made friends with someone simply because your names were similar? How long would such a friendship last and how meaningful would it be, providing you had nothing else in common? People often use the bully as an example of why it’s so important to let kids “socialize” at school. If that’s so important, then the bully needs to go to JAIL after a few months, because self-respecting society simply doesn’t put up with that, nor should my 6 yr. old. Sure, there are crappy people in the world, but the world does a much better job of taking care of these things. A bullying brat in the first grade will still be a bullying brat in the 6th grade. He will still be picking on the same kids year after year after year, unless he moves to a new town. How long would the average adult put up with a bully? Personally, as an adult, I have only come across one grown up bully. I choose not to be around this miserable woman. So do many other people. THAT is real life. If she were a coworker, I would find a different job. If she worked at a business I patronized-¬†not only would I refrain from doing business with that company, I would write a letter to the bully, her manager, the owner and the main office. A kid in a classroom has no way to emotionally protect themselves against such a person. I would never expect my kids to put up with bad treatment from a bully in the name of “toughening them up.” For what? So they can be submissive wimps when they grow up too? So they can “ignore” their miserable bosses and abusive spouses? In real life, if an employer discovered that an employee was harassing the other staff members, that employee could be fired (pending the 90 day evaluation) or relocated. In real life, if you are so dreadfully harassed by a coworker you can seek legal recourse independently. In a classroom, the teacher and other children are often powerless. The idea of learning acceptable social skills in a school is as absurd to me as learning nutrition from a grocery store. As Homeschoolers, the world is our classroom. We interact with people of all ages, sexes and backgrounds. We talk to and learn from everyone who strikes our interest. We use good manners in our home and I’m always pleased when others comment on the manners my children have picked up. I believe good manners to be an important social skill. Respecting common areas is also of value to us. We often carry a grocery bag with us on walks, in case we find trash that needs to be discarded. When we’re waiting at a bus stop, if there is trash on the ground, we make a point to carry it onto the bus and discard of it properly. Once, while waiting at a bus stop-we saw a grown man drop his popsicle wrapper on the ground. He was 2 feet from a trash can-my daughter looked up at me with eyes as big as saucers. I told her (out loud) “It must have blown out of his and from that little wind, because no-one would throw trash on the ground on purpose. I’m sure when he’s done with his popsicle, he will pick it up and throw it away correctly-¬†otherwise, we can take care of it so we don’t have an ugly world.” He did pick it up, rather sheepishly. I can’t imagine expecting my children to have a respect for the cleanliness of common areas in an environment where bathroom walls are covered in graffiti and trees are scratched with symbols of “love” of all things. Another social skill we strive to teach our children is that all people are created equal. I can’t imagine doing that in an environment where physically disadvantaged children are segregated into a “special” classroom. Or even children who speak a different language at home. They are segregated and forced to learn English, while never acknowledging the unique culture they were raised in, and not enabling the other students to learn FROM them. Learning, in school, comes from the books and teachers. We will learn Spanish from a BOOK, not from a Spanish-speaking student; and not until¬†7th grade. I have never felt it would be beneficial to stick my 6-yr. old in a room full of other 6-yr. olds. I believe God created a world full of people of all ages and sexes to insure that the younger ones and older ones learn from each other. A few years ago, we were living thousands of miles from any older family members, so I brought my kids (then 5 and 2) to an assisted living facility, so they could interact with the elderly. Staff members told us that many of the older people would wake up every day and ask if we would be visiting soon. We always went on Wednesdays. My daughters learned some old show tunes while one of the men played piano, and the others would sing along. If I didn’t have to chase my 2-yr. old around, I would have had plenty of women ready to share the art of crocheting with me (something I’ve always wanted to learn.) If a friend was too sick to come out of their room during our visit, we would often spend a few minutes in their room. I always let them give the kids whatever cookies they had baked for them, and I ended up cleaning a few of the apartments while we visited, simply because I would have done the same for my own Grandmother. Every room had pictures from my kids posted on their refrigerators. We called this “Visiting the Grandmas and Grandpas” and my daughters both (almost 2 years later) have fond memories of our visits. I’m sure that if we were still visiting there, my unborn child would have a thousand handmade blankets and booties to keep him warm all winter. I don’t remember any such experiences in my entire School life, although I do remember being a bit afraid of old people if they were too wrinkly or weak looking. I never really knew anyone over 60. I never sped down the hall on someone’s wheelchair lap, squealing as we popped wheelies and screeched around corners. I never got to hear stories about what life was like before indoor plumbing and electricity, from the point of view of a woman with Alzheimer‚Äôs, who might believe she was still 5 years old, talking with my daughter as if she were a friend. I never got to help a 90 yr. old woman keep her arm steady while she painted a picture. And I never watched a room full of “grandma’s” waiting for me by the window, because we were 15 minutes late. On a recent visit to an Art allery, we noticed a man walking back and forth, carrying framed artwork from is old pickup truck. I asked my 6 yr. old if she thought he might be the artist. We both agreed that was a possibility, and after a little pep-talk to overcome her stage fright, she approached him and asked. He was the artist, and he was bringing in his work to be evaluated by the curator. We all sat down and he explained some of his techniques and listened to her opinions about which piece she liked best. He told about how he enjoyed art when he was 6 and would “sell” pictures to family and friends. He recounted how he felt while creating a few of the pieces, and how each one has special meaning to him. He even let her know how nervous he was to show them to the curator and how he hoped she found them as interesting as we did. As he was called into the office, a group of thirty-four 3rd graders filed past, ever so quietly, while their teacher explained each piece on the walls. The children were so quiet and well behaved. They didn’t seem to mind moving on from one picture to the next (The problem with homeschoolers is they tend to linger on things they enjoy). They didn’t seem to have any questions or comments (Maybe they’ll discuss that later in class). And they never got a chance to meet the gentleman in the pickup truck. I hope my kids aren’t missing out on any “socialization.”

©2000 Lisa Russell Used with Permission Lisa Russell; A Gen X homeschooling mom, writer, wife, daydreamer, U.S. traveler, hiker, poet, artist, web designer, and whatever else suits the moment. Lisa Russell can be contacted at: http://www.lisarussell.net or: lisa@lisarussell.net

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Greetings! Although i¬†wanted to post my own thoughts, i¬†came across this on my facebook¬†and couldn’t resist reposting it/sharing it¬†and since it HAS been twice already on other sites, figured there’s no copyright so it’s alright. Yes, sometimes i think in rhyme…¬†



The Smithsonian Institution’s recipe for genius and leadership: 

Children should spend a great deal of time with loving, educationally minded parents; 

Children should be allowed a lot of free exploration; and 

Children should have little to no association with peers outside of family and relatives. ‚ÄďH. McCurdy¬†

My husband and I have no qualms about our style of parenting, which is so tied up in home education. He grew up beside his father in a greenhouse. Our first apartment at 500 sq ft, had 31 houseplants in it. He now works as a landscape designer. So we understand this analogy: Children are like little plants. You take the seed and put it in a little cup of the best topsoil. You give it lots of light. You gently sprinkle it with drops of water so the delicate leaves aren’t broken. When it gets a decent root system, you transplant it to a bigger pot. You protect it from the wind and the hottest sun. You bring it in when there’s a freeze. You don’t put it out where the dog will trample it or a deer will eat the buds. When its well-established, and the season is right, you can transplant it finally to its place outside your home. Then it will do well on its own in the downpours and coldest winters. 

So we plan to raise our children, protecting them and ensuring they are firmly established before they go out into the world. It is our hope that they do much better¬†at surviving their relationships and careers with such a secure beginning. Our family follows the Classical Education model. I use the book, “The Well-Trained Mind” as the base for our curriculum. The basic premise of the classical method is the breakdown of education into three sections which each build on each other. First is the Grammar stage, generally 1st-4th¬†grades, in which¬†a child‚Äôs curiosity is encouraged¬†by just stuffing them full of images and facts. The next stage is the Logic stage, generally 5th-¬†8th grades, where an adolescent begins to find the answers to the how and why of what they learned in the Grammar stage. Last is the Rhetoric stage, in which 9th -12th graders learn how to coherently express what they have learned. In Classical Education, all learning follows history as its base and the other subjects work around it. In addition, a student goes over the same material three times in his education (cycling through the material once in each stage).¬†

An example of this is our reading material. Ideally, it should be exciting to entrance and interest the first grader, in-depth for the questioning fifth grader, and even more interesting and in depth for the ninth grader. In our home, I buy books on a fifth grade level to read to our first grader, and when we cycle back to the same material in the fifth grade, they read it for themselves, and in ninth grade they read source material. For example, I read The Trojan War and the 12 Labors of Hercules to my first grader. All of my children were enthralled. There were no pictures except those that streamed through their imaginations. Then, when we return to ancient history in the fifth grade, she will curl up on the couch and read about Hercules on her own. This time she’ll learn that mom edited out the reason why he was assigned the 12 tasks: he killed his wife and children in a drunken rage. Then, when she returns again to the ancients in the ninth grade, she won’t be intimidated by reading Homer’s Illiad itself in the poetic original version. What’s to be afraid of, when you’re already familiar with the times and places? Also, when she was taught astronomy in the second grade, she already knew the story behind the crab-shaped constellation, from last year when she saw Hercules toss him into the sky in her mind’s eye. 

I was looking at a book from a series aimed at second-graders, called Junie B. Jones. It is listed on reading lists for this age group- yet it has sentences starting with conjunctions and fragments on every page. It has adjectives like bestest. It frequently says me and her. On a whim I looked up classical literature for this age group. I found rough breakdowns of classical literature by grade level. One example was The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. The first five sentences in The Velveteen Rabbit had an average of 29.2 words in each sentence. The first five sentences of Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth had an average of 5.4 words per sentence. 

An example of one of the more complex sentences which I found in JBJ¬†& her Big Fat Mouth was “Eating things that you find on the ground is very, very dangerous.” I gave it another try and¬†found “That‚Äôs because I had tingling excitement in me about Job Day.” In addition to using more complex sentence structure, Williams does not pare down her vocabulary to meet the child reader. Look how this sentence from The Velveteen Rabbit teaches the meaning of the word superior: “The mechanical toys were very superior, and looked down upon every one else; they were full of modern ideas, and pretended they were real.” JBJ¬†is so full of incorrect grammar and simple sentences because it is written from the point of view of¬†a modern first-grader, who would actually speak like that (unfortunately) and have simple interactions. However, there are quite a few older books, written in a different time, from the point of view of a five-year-old (Heidi, Little House series). They are also more complex and descriptive and are much preferred to modern books written for our young people.¬†

Another difference found in the Classical Education model is the emphasis of the use of whole books instead of readers. In public schools today, segments of books are printed in textbooks with summary questions at the end. The publisher chops the most exciting or pertinent portions of a work out, puts it in the textbook, and asks directed questions which can be answered by that portion. Then we wonder later why kids can’t dig through a whole book and find themes when it is not spelled out to them! 

I encourage you to challenge your child’s reading level by not feeding them Goosebumps or Sweet Valley High, Babysitter’s Club, or such books. Yes, your child is reading, but she is not really being challenged when she only reads about familiar locales in familiar phrasing. Always read what is a little difficult, not playground conversation in written form. When I was in middle school I really enjoyed the Sackett series by Louis L’Amour. A few of them are written from the point of view of a young girl. They give excellent images of early backwoods Eastern America. They encourage determination, hard work, overcoming obstacles, honesty, trustworthiness, gumption, and a host of other excellent qualities. 

Those are virtues I would hope that any parent would like to see cultivated in their child. But because educating at home is solely the responsibility of the parents, these are especially crucial. As homeschoolers, we have great freedom to: 

Do our schoolwork wherever we want 

Wear whatever we want 

Go at whatever pace we choose 

Drop work we already know 

Spend extra time on topics we love 

Do our work whenever we want 

Take breaks or work through 

but these freedoms give us responsibilities that families with children in regular schools don’t carry. They aren’t held accountable for what is (or isn’t) learned. They don’t have to be personally disciplined to cover the material or lessons themselves. They have an outside authority taking care of all that, who will be held accountable in a public forum. As home educators, we have to force ourselves take care of the objectives. We meet the goals which we set for ourselves, or we don’t. No one else will come in and check on us. We have to be responsible for our own education, and that means getting the work done and then doing the playing. So traits like persistence, responsibility, determination, honesty and the ability to do hard work are instilled in each work day, as much as math, science, history or English skills are. Unlike those who defer the education of their children to others, we are able and willing to drop the spelling lesson and address the poor attitude. We can put the multiplication drills on hold until the whining is under control. We can give time to grieve a lost grandparent before expecting academic performance to continue on uninterrupted. There are many, many reasons why we have chosen to educate our children at home. These are just a few. 


Teresa Dear is a homeschooling mother of four. She and her husband of eleven years are not worried about the socialization of their children. You can follow the blog exploration of classical education in general and their homeschool lifestyle in particular at 


http://highereducation-mama4x.blogspot.com She divides her time between education, the house, the extra-curricular activities, shopping for curriculum, and stocking her http://www.mama4x.etsy.com storefront, where you can find handmade greeting cards and vintage ephemera.http://www.homeschool-articles.com/ 

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