This attitude does not respect the child then, and why they may become frustrated, uncooperative, defiant, unresponsive, even vindictive. Why respect adults or elders when in his eyes, they have no concern for what he wants or likes? The child will model and reciprocate if the child is respected. He can then learn without limitations imposed on him and will be at ease and content.
Freedom to choose how to spend one’s time does this, but i am not speaking of a permissive environment with absolutely no rules, no right and wrong. Rather, when above all, he is treated nearly equal to an adult, he/she perceives to have autonomy and ownership over himself, he will not only take charge of his life learning but may accept total responsibility for his actions as well. This understanding has a profound effect on the Self.
I cannot tell you what this realization did for me in my late teens, that i could not continue to blame anyone else for my life as it was and the fact i was mainly responsible for my own misery due to my thoughtless, immature decisions. My life changed from that moment.
Above all, even if a child has the negative behaviors i listed: frustration, defiance, vindictiveness, in response to OTHERS controlling what he is allowed to learn, most every child still longs for approval.
I find this longing for approval and being appreciated to be universal and a great way to help that child learn and feel the best about himself, which has a domino effect in every sphere of his being: intellectual/cognitive, emotional/behavioral, spiritual, and perhaps even physical by relieving stress and anxiety. Only then is the child able to reach his full potential and develop his character. Character will set him up for success or failure the rest of his life. SOURCE: ” How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character” Jul 2, 2013 by Paul Tough.